Grandma’s Album

Elma Etta Fairman Ledger in 1925

My maternal Grandmother, Elma Etta Fairman (1892-1933) loved photographs. I can tell because she left us with 2 lovely albums and some loose photos of our family. My mother told me a story about how her Uncle Dewey (Elma’s brother) had come to our house once in the 1950’s or 60’s and saw a photo album in our garage that was Elma’s. My mom was not one for taking care of or cherishing family history. He asked to borrow the album and I am so glad he did. It seems mom never asked for it back and when they were much older, in the 1980’s, mom went to see Uncle Dewey and he gave the album back to mom with a promise to take care of it.

my mom, Louise, with her Uncle Dewey in the 1980’s

Thank goodness, as now I have that album. There was also a smaller album that was made up of only tinted photos, mostly 5 x 7 prints. I am assuming my grandma had to pay extra for that in the 1920’s and early 1930’s as there was no color photography then. I decided to take apart that album and scan each page so that the album would be saved for our family history on line, instead of probably in some trash heap some day. My kids don’t really care about all the old photos I have so making them available on line is my way of preservation.

There are a little over 40 photos and most are lovingly mounted and labeled with white pen on the dark black pages, thank you Grandma!!! Without the identification it would be so much harder to know who the people are, we are talking photos from about 100 years ago!

If you would like to see Grandma’s album here is a link.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/epjwJUfPDW2PqXtA8

I scanned the photos in the order they are in the album. I think my Grandma got the album later in her life and added the pictures then, as they are not in date order at all. The same is true for the larger album she left to us which I plan to also scan as time goes on.

Do you have old photo albums? Have you scanned them to share? If not, think about it!

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Wordless Wednesday – true love

My grandmother Elma Fairman Ledger on the left and her partner Amy Hoag on the right. This is a picture that was in an album of colorized photos that belonged to my grandmother. Probably taken around 1925 or so. Can you see the joy in their faces, that is love.

My diary – August 5, 1975

This is what the Tiki’s looked like – it was so popular and ran from 1960 until the mid 70’s.

We had a really good time at the Tiki’s, we didn’t get to dance, but we had gobs of fun. Watched fire dancers and slid down slides. Dave was so sweet. The next day Dave, Johnny and I went to Barnes park for a picnic with Barb and Joe’s family. What a gas! The men played baseball against some guys that were there. We won but it was close. Funny too! Dave said he had a good time. I sure did. He is so sweet. I spent the night with him Saturday. It was fun! I like sleeping with him.

Frank called last night, he was depressed, which is unusual for Frank. I saw him today at V Super. What a jerk, no class. So why do I still care? I do like Dave Alot, I hope I am not going to ruin this relationship. I will try not to pressure him, but it is so easy for me to do that. I want a man, I just can’t wait for Frank, it is useless. We don’t get along anyway. I want to be loved. I just know that I will ruin it, I usually always do. Ah well, time will tell.

Goodnight.

My thoughts: I remember parts of that Tiki’s night – it was such a beautiful place. I read up on it and it seems the neighbors finally convinced the city to revoke the entertainment license because of the noise and they had to close. It was really a date place for sure.

I really remember the picnic we went on, Barb is my sister and her husband Joe had a large family. We met them at the park and Dave even played baseball with all the family and he didn’t know a soul. I remember he slid into base and ripped his pants. He was wearing white pants as those were really popular then and he skinned up his knee pretty good too. Too bad he turned out to be too weird, as so many men I dated.

I see that I referenced that I screwed up my relationships – and that was true. For some reason I wanted to get married again, but of course I never picked the guys who were stable or who would take on me and my little boy. I would pressure the guys I really liked to move in together, to get serious, etc. etc. Things are so different now, I would be a much stronger woman if I knew then what I know now. I had forgotten what an ass Frank could be. Funny how we remember the good times but not the bad ones so much.

My diary – July 31st, 1975

Well John came over just to mes around, I don’t even want to talk about it! While he was here Dave called and I talked to him for awhile. He is being possessive and I said that was no good. I really like him but I am afraid and now with Frank coming around, I don’t know! Frank called from work at 11 pm he was nice. Then he called in the morning to wake me up, which was nice. Then he went to Big Bear. He came back at 12 a.m. and called me and said he bought a new truck and wanted me to see it right then so I said O.K. (why?) Then at 4 a.m. he calls again and tells me to wake him up at 10:00 a.m.

By now Dave and I have sort of made up. He agrees he is being too possessive so we will start again. Heaven forbid Frank should answer the phone again! I went over Franks and cooked him breakfast and me lunch then he came over last night for a few minutes. He was acting like a brat with Johnny and drove me nuts. I was hoping he would leave before Dave called at 10 p.m. and he just did when Dave called. I like Dave alot. I know he would be very possessive but he is sweet and affectionate and he cares and he is so opposite of Frank. Frank calls tonight and asks me to go to Knotts Berry Farm. Of course not with Johnny (heaven forbid!) I almost went but I decided it is ridiculous to let him lead me around. I don’t even really enjoy being with him that much. I missed him when he was gone but I don’t really know why. Oh Poo! such is life!

Dave and I are going with some people from work to the Tikis on Saturday. I borrowed my mom’s Hawaiian Mumu (mine didn’t fit!) and I am all excited. I get to be with Dave and that makes me happy. I guess we are spending Sunday together also. Dave wants to go to Moms, but dare I take him there? It will be his first day with Johnny, Oh well, we will see.

They took my truck away! I had it three weeks and my credit didn’t go through so they took it away. Oh well, I am glad cause I saved $80 per month. I will fix the bug up and keep it (If I can get it running right)

Well, that’s all!

Bye.

Today’s thoughts on this entry:

I was so glad when the dealership took back that truck! It was so impractical, it only sat 2 so I couldn’t give anybody but Johnny and I a ride. I couldn’t afford the $80 a month payment. I remember the salesman telling me that he would loan me the money himself if he could as I seemed like a nice girl. Yeah, right. It was always about my looks or body. But it was also the times that kind of stuff happened. I took my little VW bug back and my nephew David was always helping me work on it, that was one of the things that led him to be a mechanic and now to lead the service departments of many dealerships over the years.

Frank and I went back and forth like this for so many years. I met him in the beginning of 1973 and now we are at mid 1975 and we have hurt each other in so many ways in those 2 1/2 years….we have stayed in touch. He is a grumpy old man now, staunch Republican who loves that damned Trump and I can’t even talk to him, it pisses me off. Plus he blames me for our young problems but it was both of us. Can you tell I have some resentment??? Even after all these years.

My diary – July 28, 1975

This was a big event in July 1975!

What a happening since last night! Frank came over and sort of apologized, well, not really, but I had missed him so much that I didn’t press the issue. He was nice to me and we made love. I guess I just can’t live without him. While he was here Dave called and Frank answered. Dave got mad. But he has no right to! Today Dave calls me at work and says he will call me tonight. So he does, then he has the nerve to ask me if I am going to bed with Frank and if I am then he wants to cool it with me! get that. I asked him why and he said because of his morals. Ha! I like Dave alot but this weekend was horrible and he said he was sorry but he was having girl problems. I told him that what he did was his business but I guess he doesn’t feel the same way. He is supposed to call later to talk more but I don’t know if he will or not, he was so pissed off. I just don’t think he should tell me what to do so soon. I don’t know what to tell him. I like him but I don’t know him well enough yet. John called this evening and he is coming over. I hope he isn’t coming over just to mess around cause I am tired of men doing that to me.

I called Diane tonight, she is really nice, it is time for us to go out! soon.

I will let you know what happens!

My thoughts on today’s entry: I always smile while I am transcribing this diary. The memories come flooding back to me. Things I had forgotten long ago. I was such a desperate girl, looking everywhere I could for male validation. But like I said before, I always picked the wrong guys. Dave was a guy I worked with, although he worked out in the shop (it was a metal stamping company) and I was the PBX operator, he worked nights, I worked days so it wasn’t like we were there together or worked directly with each other. He turned out to have issues like most of the men I went out with.

Frank just liked to keep stringing me along…and I would sleep with him no matter what, what a dope I was.

My friend Diane coming home from the East Coast was a very important event in what plays out for the next 2 years of my life….only I don’t want to spoil it so I won’t comment.

Funny, I don’t remember this John I talk about but I can guess what will happen when he comes over!

What were you doing in 1975???

My diary – July 27, 1975

What a weekend! I am so pissed off at men that I could kill them all. I am so tired of being treated like shit! Dave, oh that sweetheart has turned out to be a Dr. Jeckell and Mr. Hyde.  All week after I asked him if he wanted me to cook dinner for him he acted like he didn’t want me to.  He called it off telling me he would be tired after the boat and that it was the anniversary of his father’s death.  I understood but then he told me he wanted to see me Saturday, then he didn’t.  Well Saturday rolls around and no call.  I called him and I could tell someone was there (a girl) he said he would call back but he didn’t.  I went out anyway to the Chalon in Pasadena.  It was O.K. nothing to holler about.  I met a really cute guy named John and he said he would come over Monday but I don’t expect any miracles. 

I am telling you, you can’t trust anybody anymore.  Especially men!

So today no call from Dave.  I called him at 7:00 p.m. and he is home but doesn’t want to talk about it so I hang up.  I call back and say I want an explanation and I do a lot of talking but I get no answers.  He is leaving, so says he will call me tonight.

I am so pissed, I don’t care anymore. I must invite this kind of treatment.  I am so tired of it.  Frank hasn’t called so it is obvious that he doesn’t care at all.  I miss him so much, Why?  I am so tired of this.  Can’t men pick on somebody else?

A note from my 2019 self to my 1975 self:

Judy, you sweet silly girl. If only you knew what I know. You always picked the type of guys that were going to be flaky. You had so many good guys who wanted to date you but you would always say no, or maybe go out once and find them boring. You wanted drama in your life, but when you got the drama you would then be mad at the men in your life instead of at yourself. In the last paragraph you say “I must invite this kind of treatment”, well I must say that yep, you did! No excuses, no blaming your mother, your father, or anyone else, it was all you. So many wrong choices, so much treating people terribly. You grew up finally but it took you 3 marriages to do it, and even then you made some huge mistakes. You are so lucky and I know you will realize it much later. These are the days of Mr. Goodbar and you are lucky you didn’t get raped or killed. But I can’t make you change the way you are so just keep your eyes open and try to be good to as many people as you can, especially yourself.

My diary – July 24, 1975

Me, My dad, My sister and my brother
Little did I know that he was not my dad, my sister and brother are my 1/2 siblings.

So far this has been a pretty good week. Dave is calling me every day. I am supposed to cook dinner for him at his place Saturday. He really doesn’t sound too enthused about it, but I guess it’s because he will be working on the boat all day and will be tired. But I have no where else to go. I am not seeing anyone else right now (I wonder if Dave likes that idea?) We do have a date for August 2nd to go to the Tikis with some of his friends. I am looking forward to that. I haven’t heard from Frank all week, I guess that proves how much he really cares “none”!

My dad still isn’t feeling good. Of course my mom is so dumb she doesn’t ask the doctor what is wrong or how serious he is, I think it is more serious than they think it is. This is the first time in my life I have seen him this sick. Mom says he isn’t even drinking at all! Which doesn’t sound like him at all! I am worried. What if he should die. I may not be close to him, but I love him, we have all been through a lot together. He and I have really had some personality clashes. but I love him, please don’t let anything happen to him.

Work is O.K. I have a lot to do. Today we were laugh so hard. Fae got a phone number of a prostitute house, it was a recording, real sexy! We were giving all the bosses messages and they would call the number and bust up! It was nice. Not much more to say – Bye.

Today’s thoughts: Oh, the Tikis was such a cool place. It was a huge outdoor area that had bars and food and they put on Polynesian type shows, with dancers and fire eaters and such. Very popular in the 1970’s. It’s gone now but it remembered so fondly by people where I grew up.

My dad did have shingles and he suffered a bit but this illness didn’t last long and he lived until 1995, so almost 20 more years. I am surprised I wrote about how he and I didn’t get along and had personality clashes. Of course, as he wasn’t my biological father, but I didn’t know that until much, much later. We might have still had those clashes if he had been my bio father but in looking back at our family with the benefit of hindsight, it makes so much sense.

I still remember the phone number prank. One of the bosses got the message, made the call, and we were just waiting to see what he would do. He ran out of his office with his briefcase and said “I gotta go somewhere!” The whole office laughed so hard. It wasn’t a bad place to work, I just got so tired of being trapped at the pbx switchboard and the lady who supervised me was such a bitch.