After Thanksgiving I figured I would be overwhelmed with welcomes from my new found probable family, instead I was ignored. Ok, I’m thinking they need time to process, so I waited a few days before I emailed Lee again and asked him if he would agree to the DNA test. But I was put off and he said his family wasn’t receptive to my claim and he understands my plight but he wants to think about it some more. Come on already!!! I offered to pay for the test, keep it private, etc etc. but that didn’t seem to make a difference to him. In hindsight I think it was stubbornness….I had besmirched his father’s name and he wasn’t going to take my probable assumption (to him there was no proof) and go ahead and take the test. These are my feelings on it here, I have no proof he felt that way – but this was how it seemed with him. I told him I didn’t want to disturb his family nor did I expect any relationship unless it was welcomed – I just wanted information. I wanted to know where I came from. Continue reading “Why aren’t you as curious as I am???”
So, my thought to be honest and above-board with my possible 1/2 brother Lee just sort of crashed and burned. It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was feeling pretty feisty and thinking that since I was giving thanks for finding my possible biological father that Lee might feel the love and all that jazz. But I was pretty much let down in that regard. I decided to be honest and tell him that I thought his father might be my father and would he consent to a DNA test to confirm. I explained all my reasoning, my searching through his family and building a tree on Ancestry.com. Continue reading “What…you don’t believe the DNA results???”
I haven’t written as I am such a procrastinator. So many things have happened since my last post, I get overwhelmed and that makes me grouchy and then I shut down. When I discovered that my mom had me with a different father, that part didn’t bother me, what bothered me was that no matter how I looked at it, my biological father was dead. I am 62 years old and my mom was 38 when I was born, do that math and you come up with too old to be living. And then, that made me feel sad. But I was also excited so I decided to try to contact someone from the suspected father’s family. In hind sight I might have come on a bit strong… I stalked them on Facebook…such an easy way to find people. I found the workplace of the oldest son and contacted him by email. I am not courageous enough to do it by phone or in person…much easier to hide behind the keyboard! At first I just showed a general interest in shared genealogy and hoped he would be willing to share info. But I got a pretty short “good luck” answer so I figured…what the heck…let’s tell him what I suspect. Bad move. Stay tuned for the next segment….I have to write this in bits and pieces because the story is long and I don’t want to go on and on and be boring as hell.
It’s been awhile since I have posted. I have been sort of at odds with what is going on with my DNA tests and how I wasn’t matching up with my known close cousins. So I asked my sister to test her DNA with Ancestry.com. About 6 weeks ago I went to visit her and had her spit into the little test thingy and sent it off. It seems like FOREVER until the results come back, then one day there is the email…results are in….I wondered how fast I could click on those computer screens to get to the results!! And, as I suspected, it turns out we are 1/2 sisters which means my dad is not my biological dad. All the pieces fell into place. She matches to my cousins on dad’s side where I do not. She does not match to the cousin matches I was receiving that had nothing to do with dad’s side. So…I began searching in earnest on my cousin matches and their family trees on Ancestry.com for someone, anyone, who might fit the bill. Continue reading “Who’s your daddy???”
My mom used to tell me about how her father’s brother, Dewey, died. She said he was robbed in Mexico and killed. I always felt so bad that this could happen to someone in my family, and I wondered why he was in Mexico and the circumstances surrounding his death. I was pretty sure Mom got something mixed up because she had never talked of Dewey except for his death, I knew that she wasn’t close with this uncle as other stories about him were never shared. Mom was 29 when Dewey died so she was old enough to get the facts but her memory was not always the best. I decided a while back to try to investigate what had happened to Dewey. Dewey never married and didn’t have children so I asked a cousin the late 1990’s about Dewey. She told me she thought he died in New Mexico…hmmmmm, that is close to Mexico…so mom couldn’t be too wrong could she? Continue reading “Dewey died all alone, sitting against a tree”
Today is August 17, it is the day I should be calling my nephew Guy and wishing him a happy birthday and then making some goofy wisecracks about our ages – we were only about 4 years apart. But Guy is gone, he died in 2010. We were always close as kids, I think it was because he was so wimpy and sweet and easy to get along with, where I was demanding, domineering and oh so hard to like. He would do my bidding and I would cut him some slack when it came time for my temper – we always did get along like that.
As we grew older and I had my oldest son, Guy was my go-to babysitter. While I was out partying the 1970’s away, Guy was taking care of my son and forming a very close bond with him that was more like a brother relationship than a cousin one. When Guy died of a stroke at age 52 my poor son was more devastated than I could imagine.
Guy’s last years were not easy for him….he had divorced, lived with his mom (my sister) and had been forcefully retired by the telephone company – financially it was very hard on him. He had gained alot of weight and wasn’t making wise choices with his health – he seemed to be terrified of doctors – he was in Las Vegas with his girlfriend when he had a massive stroke – he never regained consciousness and within a month he was gone. I think of him so often, and especially today – I want to call him and sing to him in my horrible voice and crack some jokes!
Happy birthday Guyo, I love you.