I was gathering all the information I could on Ancestry.com for matches to my new 2nd cousin, Bill. With him being that close to me and seeing that Lee did not match me correctly with Bill being a 2nd cousin I had to figure out what was going on. So I started with building a separate tree for Bill with all the information I could find on his family and then BOOM. Not only did I find a common surname that linked him to Lee’s surname, but I saw on Ancestry.com that Lee did the DNA test….without telling me! I was looking at my DNA matches – yes, I impulsively do that every day! And I see that Lee is there and matching me as a 4th-6th cousin probability. That dirty dog….he did the DNA test that I had been begging him to do for months….which would have solved the problem, would have gotten me off his back and would have given me some peace of mind….sometimes I don’t get people one bit. Continue reading
After Thanksgiving I figured I would be overwhelmed with welcomes from my new found probable family, instead I was ignored. Ok, I’m thinking they need time to process, so I waited a few days before I emailed Lee again and asked him if he would agree to the DNA test. But I was put off and he said his family wasn’t receptive to my claim and he understands my plight but he wants to think about it some more. Come on already!!! I offered to pay for the test, keep it private, etc etc. but that didn’t seem to make a difference to him. In hindsight I think it was stubbornness….I had besmirched his father’s name and he wasn’t going to take my probable assumption (to him there was no proof) and go ahead and take the test. These are my feelings on it here, I have no proof he felt that way – but this was how it seemed with him. I told him I didn’t want to disturb his family nor did I expect any relationship unless it was welcomed – I just wanted information. I wanted to know where I came from. Continue reading
So, my thought to be honest and above-board with my possible 1/2 brother Lee just sort of crashed and burned. It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was feeling pretty feisty and thinking that since I was giving thanks for finding my possible biological father that Lee might feel the love and all that jazz. But I was pretty much let down in that regard. I decided to be honest and tell him that I thought his father might be my father and would he consent to a DNA test to confirm. I explained all my reasoning, my searching through his family and building a tree on Ancestry.com. Continue reading
I haven’t written as I am such a procrastinator. So many things have happened since my last post, I get overwhelmed and that makes me grouchy and then I shut down. When I discovered that my mom had me with a different father, that part didn’t bother me, what bothered me was that no matter how I looked at it, my biological father was dead. I am 62 years old and my mom was 38 when I was born, do that math and you come up with too old to be living. And then, that made me feel sad. But I was also excited so I decided to try to contact someone from the suspected father’s family. In hind sight I might have come on a bit strong… I stalked them on Facebook…such an easy way to find people. I found the workplace of the oldest son and contacted him by email. I am not courageous enough to do it by phone or in person…much easier to hide behind the keyboard! At first I just showed a general interest in shared genealogy and hoped he would be willing to share info. But I got a pretty short “good luck” answer so I figured…what the heck…let’s tell him what I suspect. Bad move. Stay tuned for the next segment….I have to write this in bits and pieces because the story is long and I don’t want to go on and on and be boring as hell.