I am sure you have heard the phrase “a watched pot never boils”. Well, waiting for DNA test results to come back is pretty much like that. I knew it could take up to 6 weeks but…still…I had come so far and now just wanted proof that I wasn’t mucking it all up again. In the mean time I had a chance to go to the L.A. area for a few days and even though the results were not in, I asked my potential 1/2 brothers Scott and Bruce if they would like to meet up. They were so sweet and were excited to meet me, even prior to the proof of the DNA test. We pretty much all thought that the picture of my mom with their dad on the same bowling team sealed the deal.
I drove down to Southern CA and we planned a meet at Scott’s house. While I was driving to our meeting I have never been so nervous in all my life. I was so afraid that I was getting all excited for nothing – what if Scott and Bruce weren’t my 1/2 brothers? I had to remind myself to breathe…to relax…to just be me and let things play out and to stop worrying. As I drove up to the house the first person I saw was Scott, standing in the doorway of his house…and all I could do was smile as I know that this is probably my brother and I couldn’t help but feel the love. Then I see Bruce, the elder of the two and the acceptance was written all over his face too….I felt like I had come home to family. We had the nicest visit….Bruce had brought some old photos from the Perry family and we went through them and laughed and talked. It was such a good visit but also a little bitter sweet as I learned their sister Linda had passed away a couple of years ago and she was very interested in family history and had done lots of research and they were sure we would have hit it off. Linda and I were the closest in age, she being just 2 years younger than me.
Scott’s roommate Donna had a sandwich spread fixed up for us and we ate, and laughed and talked a lot more. I really felt good about this visit and so wished the DNA results would come in while I was in Southern Ca. that weekend, but I knew I would probably have to wait for awhile still. It was funny that Scott kept asking me and texting me..”when will the results be in?”…he wanted to know for sure just like I did – we were like a couple of little kids! I learned so much about the family during our visit and I promised Bruce and Scott that as soon as I knew the results I would be letting them know.
So now I was ready to get moving on finding my biological father. I have talked to Scott, my possible 1/2 brother. I have done my due diligence in tracing the DNA trail and the family tree hints. I was thrilled that Scott agreed to take a DNA test and that he would be happy to have a new sister! As soon as Scott and I got off the phone I ordered the DNA test kit from Ancestry.com from my phone….I was not going to wait until we got home from our camping trip!! I was floating on cloud 9 the rest of the weekend – I had such a good feeling about this phase in my search! Scott and I messaged back and forth. Sonya and I did also, she was an angel in my eyes for helping me to connect with my possible family.
My only question now was, how did my mom know Scott and Bruce’s dad? They didn’t live in the same city, although not too far away from each other. Their dad worked as a plumber and my dad owned his own chrome plating business…no connection there I could see. But as I was thinking about how the connection could have happened I got an idea. My folks had been very active at the Elks Lodge near them during the 1950’s and 60’s. Also, they both loved to bowl – my dad was a pretty good bowler and used to compete in leagues with the Elks and at different bowling lanes for many years. So I decided to contact the Elks Lodge and see if they had a roster for 1952 and if my possible father was on it, and guess what? He was!!!
I was gathering all the information I could on Ancestry.com for matches to my new 2nd cousin, Bill. With him being that close to me and seeing that Lee did not match me correctly with Bill being a 2nd cousin I had to figure out what was going on. So I started with building a separate tree for Bill with all the information I could find on his family and then BOOM. Not only did I find a common surname that linked him to Lee’s surname, but I saw on Ancestry.com that Lee did the DNA test….without telling me! I was looking at my DNA matches – yes, I impulsively do that every day! And I see that Lee is there and matching me as a 4th-6th cousin probability. That dirty dog….he did the DNA test that I had been begging him to do for months….which would have solved the problem, would have gotten me off his back and would have given me some peace of mind….sometimes I don’t get people one bit. Continue reading “Who’s my father????”→
After Thanksgiving I figured I would be overwhelmed with welcomes from my new found probable family, instead I was ignored. Ok, I’m thinking they need time to process, so I waited a few days before I emailed Lee again and asked him if he would agree to the DNA test. But I was put off and he said his family wasn’t receptive to my claim and he understands my plight but he wants to think about it some more. Come on already!!! I offered to pay for the test, keep it private, etc etc. but that didn’t seem to make a difference to him. In hindsight I think it was stubbornness….I had besmirched his father’s name and he wasn’t going to take my probable assumption (to him there was no proof) and go ahead and take the test. These are my feelings on it here, I have no proof he felt that way – but this was how it seemed with him. I told him I didn’t want to disturb his family nor did I expect any relationship unless it was welcomed – I just wanted information. I wanted to know where I came from. Continue reading “Why aren’t you as curious as I am???”→
So, my thought to be honest and above-board with my possible 1/2 brother Lee just sort of crashed and burned. It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was feeling pretty feisty and thinking that since I was giving thanks for finding my possible biological father that Lee might feel the love and all that jazz. But I was pretty much let down in that regard. I decided to be honest and tell him that I thought his father might be my father and would he consent to a DNA test to confirm. I explained all my reasoning, my searching through his family and building a tree on Ancestry.com. Continue reading “What…you don’t believe the DNA results???”→