Posted in Miscellaneous genealogy, Searching for my father

DNA doesn’t lie!

I am sure you have heard the phrase “a watched pot never boils”.  Well, waiting for DNA test results to come back is pretty much like that.  I knew it could take up to 6 weeks but…still…I had come so far and now just wanted proof that I wasn’t mucking it all up again.  In the mean time I had a chance to go to the L.A. area for a few days and even though the results were not in, I asked my potential 1/2 brothers Scott and Bruce if they would like to meet up.  They were so sweet and were excited to meet me, even prior to the proof of the DNA test.  We pretty much all thought that the picture of my mom with their dad on the same bowling team sealed the deal.

I drove down to Southern CA and we planned a meet at Scott’s house. While I was driving to our meeting I have never been so nervous in all my life.  I was so afraid that I was getting all excited for nothing – what if Scott and Bruce weren’t my 1/2 brothers?   I had to remind myself to breathe…to relax…to just be me and let things play out and to stop worrying.  As I drove up to the house the first person I saw was Scott, standing in the doorway of his house…and all I could do was smile as I know that this is probably my brother and I couldn’t help but feel the love. Then I see Bruce, the elder of the two and the acceptance was written all over his face too….I felt like I had come home to family.  We had the nicest visit….Bruce had brought some old photos from the Perry family and we went through them and laughed and talked. It was such a good visit but also a little bitter sweet as I learned their sister Linda had passed away a couple of years ago and she was very interested in family history and had done lots of research and they were sure we would have hit it off.  Linda and I were the closest in age, she being just 2 years younger than me.

Scott’s roommate Donna had a sandwich spread fixed up for us and we ate, and laughed and talked a lot more.  I really felt good about this visit and so wished the DNA results would come in while I was in Southern Ca. that weekend, but I knew I would probably have to wait for awhile still.  It was funny that Scott kept asking me and texting me..”when will the results be in?”…he wanted to know for sure just like I did – we were like a couple of little kids!  I learned so much about the family during our visit and I promised Bruce and Scott that as soon as I knew the results I would be letting them know.


Here we are at our first meeting, June 9, 2016.  Scott to the left of the picture and Bruce to the right.

As I was driving back home to Northern Ca.the following day I had my phone laying next to me on the seat.  I just had a feeling that I might get an email that the results were in.  All of a sudden I get a ding on phone and the screen has a little popup that says “your Ancestry DNA results are in!!!!!”

OMG….I am on the 101 Freeway, I can’t look at my email…I need to pull over…I need to see asap….where is the off ramp???  I can’t get off that freeway fast enough…I am in a panic mode.  Those who have not been through this cannot understand the intense feelings that are present when you are trying to find out who you are and where you come from.  I don’t know how to explain it…it is just such a need that it is inexplicable.  I finally get to the off ramp, am in an industrial area and there isn’t much parking but I pull over as fast as I can and open that email!!!

I had to see how many cm’s of DNA that Scott and I shared to determine if we were 1/2 siblings or just cousins….The amount needs to be over about 1500 for definite 1/2 sibling range  – I half close my eyes and get to the part where I see the shared cm’s……’s 1765!!!!!!!  Jackpot, Bingo, Case solved!!!!!  I have new brothers!!!!!

I immediately call Scott who told me he was sure we were siblings, he had no doubt!  He calls Bruce, who texts me “I hear its official Sis!”  How could have asked for a more welcoming new family. About a couple of weeks after that trip I got in contact with my 3rd 1/2 brother.  He lives out of state and is the child of my father’s first marriage.  He was also very nice and welcoming and I really do appreciate his acceptance of me also.

It is now 4 months later, we have talked and text a lot.  my husband and I went down to L.A. area for my class reunion earlier this month and we also went and saw these cutie pie brothers of mine.  I got to meet Bruce’s wife Carrie, to enjoy the company of Scott’s friend Donna and they got to meet my husband Michael.  Michael likes them a lot.  Talk about a husband who has supported me 100% through this search for my roots. He has been my rock.  The rest of my family doesn’t understand my search, it has even put a rift between my sister and I.  But I cannot help that and if they are not supportive or understand my feelings then that is on them, not me.  This is my journey and I am so glad I made it before I got too old to meet any of my biological family.  I do wish I could have met my father.  But he passed in 1989.  I do not know if he knew about me, I do not know if my mother even knew I was his child.  But I do know that my mom or dad that I grew up with never, ever, let me think I wasn’t wanted or unloved.  I can’t help but feel that my mom chose to keep me because I was Robert’s child.  She was 38 when she had me, my sister and brother were already grown and almost married themselves.  When I discovered Robert had a daughter and I looked at her middle name, I had to pause.  It is Louise.  That is my mom’s name.  Too much a coincidence??  maybe…but in my mind they were in love for awhile.  Maybe I am making that all up in my head but who doesn’t like a love story???

Thanks for reading…it’s not the end of the blog…just the end of this chapter.



4 thoughts on “DNA doesn’t lie!

  1. Judy-We love you and want you to stay part of our family no matter what! I’m happy that your hard work has paid off! What a trip! Maybe you have a new calling as a super sleuth!

    Liked by 1 person

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