Posted in Searching for my father

Are you my brother?

So now I was ready to get moving on finding my biological father.  I have talked to Scott, my possible 1/2 brother.  I have done my due diligence in tracing the DNA trail and the family tree hints.  I was thrilled that Scott agreed to take a DNA test and that he would be happy to have a new sister!  As soon as Scott and I got off the phone I ordered the DNA test kit from from my phone….I was not going to wait until we got home from our camping trip!!  I was floating on cloud 9 the rest of the weekend – I had such a good feeling about this phase in my search! Scott and I messaged back and forth.  Sonya and I did also, she was an angel in my eyes for helping me to connect with my possible family.

My only question now was,  how did my mom know Scott and Bruce’s dad?  They didn’t live in the same city, although not too far away from each other.  Their dad worked as a plumber and my dad owned his own chrome plating business…no connection there I could see.  But as I was thinking about how the connection could have happened I got an idea.  My folks had been very active at the Elks Lodge near them during the 1950’s and 60’s.  Also, they both loved to bowl – my dad was a pretty good bowler and used to compete in leagues with the Elks and at different bowling lanes for many years.  So I decided to contact the Elks Lodge and see if they had a roster for 1952 and if my possible father was on it, and guess what?  He was!!!

At the same time I discovered his membership with the Elks, I remembered a photo album I had.  It wasn’t an album that belonged to my folks, it was one that belonged to a dear family friend who used to bowl with my folks.  Buck was his name, and I remember him so well from my childhood  – a very nice man.  Well, when he passed away in the late 1970’s his wife gave this photo album to my folks because it had so many pictures in it of them, and me as a child.  The album had gone to my sister when my folks passed and my sister gave it to me last year.  I don’t know what made me remember I had that album, but I dug it out and started going through it.  I thought that I had seen some bowling pictures in it and thought that MAYBE there would be something that could help me in my search.  I flipped through most of the album, there are lots of pictures of me and my folks from when I was little. Good times.  And then I found it!  The smoking gun!!!!  Right in front of me was a group photo of a bowling team, and there was my dad, my mom, Buck and……Robert – my possible biological father!!!  I knew it was him right away as Scott had text me a couple of pictures of Robert.  Oh my, here was practically PROOF!!!    First thing I did was to take a picture of that bowling picture and send it off to Scott!  He was amazed!


bowling team 1952
My dad is top row 2nd from left, my possible biological dad Robert (Bob) is 2nd from right, my mom is on bottom row and Buck in bottom right.


Scott then called me and he said that he had talked to his brother Bruce and Bruce wanted to talk to me….oh dear, I got very nervous all over again….I am so afraid of being rejected….was Bruce going to give me the 3rd degree and not be accepting of who I might be?  So I called Bruce and we had the nicest talk ever.  He was kind, and understanding and he felt the same way I did – what is the difference now?  It’s been 62 years – we can’t help what our parents did but we can be happy for the outcome – which is more family! Bruce told me that he also had the picture that I did of the bowling team, it was in his father’s things.  I was so happy I could just cry…in fact I did.  Things seemed to be falling into place and I kept hoping the Gods wouldn’t step in and mess with me any more!!  All I needed now was the DNA test and I could prove my theory.  And now for the waiting!!

Me and my mom in our Easter outfits, 1959. This picture was taken in the parking lot of the Elks Lodge that my folks belonged to. This is one of the pictures in Buck's album.
Me and my mom in 1959. This is one of the pictures in Buck’s album.

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