After Thanksgiving I figured I would be overwhelmed with welcomes from my new found probable family, instead I was ignored. Ok, I’m thinking they need time to process, so I waited a few days before I emailed Lee again and asked him if he would agree to the DNA test. But I was put off and he said his family wasn’t receptive to my claim and he understands my plight but he wants to think about it some more. Come on already!!! I offered to pay for the test, keep it private, etc etc. but that didn’t seem to make a difference to him. In hindsight I think it was stubbornness….I had besmirched his father’s name and he wasn’t going to take my probable assumption (to him there was no proof) and go ahead and take the test. These are my feelings on it here, I have no proof he felt that way – but this was how it seemed with him. I told him I didn’t want to disturb his family nor did I expect any relationship unless it was welcomed – I just wanted information. I wanted to know where I came from.
By Christmas I wished him a Merry Christmas and wondered if he had thought about it enough and would he please consider doing the test. And his reply:
Merry Christmas to you.
In the meantime I had tried Facebook messaging his sister and even tried a friend request to her but it went unacknowledged….not a very cooperative family for sure. I kept building out the family tree on Ancestry.com and was still pretty sure I was on the right track, although there was Ron who matched me from 23 and me at a 2nd cousin level and I couldn’t find where he belonged in my tree and he was not very communicative or helpful. I knew he was from my paternal side as he was from Alabama and even the area where my other matches were turning up. And there were 2 ladies that matched me on around a 3rd cousin level and I messaged one of them and we discussed our probable relationship and she fit pretty well into the 2nd-3rd cousin spot. She even had known the man who was my maybe father when she was a young girl as her father was his 1st cousin. What is funny to me now is that the other lady that matched me I did not contact at this time, I looked at her tree and figured out how she is related to me in my probable scenario and I didn’t think I needed to contact her. She turned out to be a major help in my search, but later on.