Posted in Searching for my father

Who’s your daddy???

It’s been awhile since I have posted. I have been sort of at odds with what is going on with my DNA tests and how I wasn’t matching up with my known close cousins. So I asked my sister to test her DNA with  About 6 weeks ago I went to visit her and had her spit into the little test thingy and sent it off.  It seems like FOREVER until the results come back, then one day there is the email…results are in….I wondered how fast I could click on those computer screens to get to the results!!  And, as I suspected,  it turns out we are 1/2 sisters which means my dad is not my biological dad. All the pieces fell into place.  She matches to my cousins on dad’s side where I do not. She does not match to the cousin matches I was receiving that had nothing to do with dad’s side. So…I began searching in earnest on my cousin matches and their family trees on for someone, anyone, who might fit the bill. It had to be someone who didn’t match my sister’s DNA matches and they had to be in L.A. in 1952 and be from Alabama or descended from people from Alabama.  Well, guess what? I found someone who was in L.A. in 1952 who matches all of the parameters for being in the right place, at the right time, who was from the same place as my cousin matches on, 23 and me and GedMatch.  It’s too many positive results to not be really possible!  So, since I put all this together I reached out to one of the cousin matches and turns out her father was 1st cousin to my “maybe” father.  She remembers him and his wife as they used to go visit them up into the 1970’s.  She is looking for pictures.  He passed away in 1983 so no chance to talk to him.

So in the meantime of course I find out he had 4 children.  One being born just 4 days before me, same  year.  Seems he married in the same month my mom would have gotten pregnant with me.  Of course I go onto Facebook and see if I can find them…that is what we do these days isn’t it?  I find them.  I don’t look like them.  Of course I don’t contact them.  I am reluctant to.  What do I say?  Hey, I might be your 1/2 sister, wanna do a DNA test???  I mean, that would be pretty shocking to them I think.  So I am just sitting on this, trying to think of ways to get more verification.  Wondering…is this the man?  Did my mom know?  Did dad know?  I don’t think so.

Am I shocked that mom strayed?  Not really.  By the time she was pregnant with me she was 38 years old…had been married for almost 20 years and they had been some volatile years at that. There was lots of drinking, partying and arguing…lots of arguing.  My parents loved each other deeply, of that I am sure.  But they could be like oil and water sometimes and we kids always wondered what kept them together.  I think if mom knew, she would have somehow let it slip. If dad knew, he most definitely would have let it slip one way or another. So I really think they didn’t know….it was either a one time thing, a short time thing or …oh heck, who knows.  I only wish I could have known him.

life is pretty damn interesting…you never know what you are going to find out.  DNA testing opens cans of worms…but I am glad I did it.


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